Hate it or love it, the underdogs are on top

Im gonna shine homey until my heart stops

Go ahead envy me

Many concerns in my life right now, more than anyone knows...

But you have to shed them off, or pretend that they dont exist and concentrate...

AND GO METS.

Quiet, its a damn library.

Got my first haircut after shaving head.

This week is Sandblast 2005, a huge 8 hour party on the beach.

I am DJing a Hot Body Contest.

There is going to be a football stadium on the West Side of my city next to the Jacob Javits Center. Cost 1.9 billion.

After an 0-5 start, the Mets got their first victory. Since they played the Atlanta Braves I was able to watch its entirety. Great game, it was a pitching gem by both John Smotlz (2 ER, 15 strikeouts) and Pedro Martinez (9 IP, 1 ER, 9 strikeouts). Finally in the 8th inning, the Mets exploded with 5 runs, all via home runs by Carlos Beltran, Cliff Floyd and David Wright.

So far the Mets have had some struggles with their pitching (mainly bullpen) because of injuries to starters and lack of talent in the bullpen. The team, I'm sure is looking for a new closer, because they desperately need one. The offense though, has been superb. They have lacked offense for the past four years, and finally having some pop in the lineup... well good signs for things to come.

If they didnt win today, it would have been the worst start since 1962, the first year the Mets started. IT was good to see them win, and now they have to get on a roll as they go home to Queens.

The Mets lost of course.

Damn.

Things are not looking too good. Very bad actually.

INDIA DEFEATED PAKISTAN...

just in case you guys didnt know.

Choke.

Not only one of my favorite books, but that is what I did today. I think on Monday I did fairly well, but today... not so much. Now I have the toughest one on Friday, and I have no energy or motivation to study.

This is one attribute I had that my brother has. When he doesn't do something well, he works 2x as hard the next time around. I myself, can not overcome the dissatisfication of messing up the first time and takes a certain amount of time to get back into gear. I was in such good focus and today disrupted it. I should have worked harder for the class and I know that, but what made me angry is that I messed up questions that I knew... a horrible feeling. Usually I dont care too much, but I've started to work harder than last term, so Im hoping my labor can be rewarded. Now I have to find some inspiration to work even harder.

I feel that you should always surround yourself with people who challenge you... people who are your intelligence and higher. And I think I have done that here at school for the most part... actually I think I've been doing that the last few years, which has been rewarding. At very rare times, it hurts. Because I'm probably within the very bottom within my close group of friends... and my result on exams definetly prove it. I know I have a few skills that are quite lacking but I do now that I have a few skills that are quite good and keen. Im not feeling sorry for myself, I have full understanding of what I'm capable of. Im just saying its hard to find concrete proof when you are constantly working uphill,  but I just hope that something substantial can change that.

I believe in karma... Im sure I'm still paying dearily for all the wrong that I have down. Internally you always know what is wrong and right, how much you have done that is wrong... and well Ive come to realize that maybe you can never even out. I try my very best to do good deeds and be a good person constantly... but the past and I was responsible before and I will accept the punishment everyday. But I only hope and pray for such few things (which still might be asking for too much since there are others that arer less unfortunate), solid proof is the last thing I will ask for. Ive been blessed in many ways and of course given disadvantages in many others, which is fine.... balance I am accept and embrace. 

Everyday I work hard to rid myself of ego. This being one of the main mantras of the Vedas/Bhagvad Geeta, which is nearly impossible. But I think once I get my last wish, I will make a major advancement in my goal.

A long time ago I felt in the description of the lyrics below.... or at least what I take from it:

Here I am expecting just a little bit
Too much from the wounded
But I see,
See through it all,
See through,
And see you.

So I threw you the obvious
Do you see what occurs behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel
Eyes of a tragedy

Well, oh well..

Apparently nothing.
Apparently nothing at all.

You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me
You don't
You don't
You don't see me at all

Steve Trachsel is out for at least 3-6 months for the New York Mets.

The injuries have started earlier than last year.

One week of mid terms...

It should be iight, especially for how I'm gonna spend the following month.