February 29, 2004
-
Vivek's confidence and self esteem stem from on year, but the main boost came from New Years Eve 2002 (going into 2003). This tale is rather long, but is a good one, I learned a lot from it.
Setting: Resturant in the city, Indian party, mainly 25-30 year olds.
Vivek has been drinking from 8:00 till 11:30 straight, actually didnt even get up the whole time, people kept giving me drinks. I got up finally barely able to walk. Well forgive me it was an Open Bar. Pretty much I went to chill my sister and brother, it was mad cool, even at Midnight, we shared sibling moment, we took a couple of swings from a wine bottle that I stole (Im so dumb stole alcohol at an open bar). Well Vivek was not looking for anybody really, saw some cute chicks, actually one in particular (WE WILL CALL HER JILL), but I had no intention of talkin to nobody, I just wanted to enjoy the nite alone, for my own personal satisfaction. *As a side note, mad weird shit happened that nite other than the story I will reveal: Some chick smacked me then was hitting on me, then her husband had to jump in before she jumped my bones. Also some guy passed out, and since this was an Indian party, wit about 30 doctors there, not one of them did a damn thing.
Eventually Vivek was enjoyin himself, with his stolen bottle of wine in one hand and a stog in the other (Yea I tend to smoke-its a bad habit- but its usually cigars). I see that same girl I noticed before, JILL actually dancing with my brother. And Im thinking, GOOD SHIT, bro has some good taste. Then she stops dancing wit him and comes near me and asks me for my cigaratte which is in my mouth (HAHA) and I say "ok, I dont care." Now she is tugging on me to dance with her, this occurred at bout 12:30. So pretty much Im dancing exclusively with her, and since I was quite BENT, I wasnt thinking much, just working off instincts. I prolly wouldnt have been in the same position if I wasnt BENT, sorry to say but that is true. But of course some thoughts were goin, thinking I was way over my head. And let me say she didnt look too old, not at all, but she started asking me how old I am, since I look so young. So I tell her 21, she doesnt believe, she actually tells me to take out my ID... so I do. Still she doesnt believe me, then I ask her old she is.... 24, I say to myself- DAMN. I mean she isnt that much older, but is older and HOT and from talking to her the whole nite, seemed mad chill. I made a move, because I knew if I didnt I would hate myself, and I got the PULL BACK (made me kinda angry- but ok no big deal), that never really happened to me before.
So my brother and sister both ask me, "We are going home, you comin?" At this point I say (2:00am), I say ok Ill go, I tell JILL good bye and as I leave, I feel someone holding my arm back, and she says "You're not going anywhere", and of course there is no way that Vivek can dissappoint a lovely lady. So I end up staying (how I'm gettin home I have no idea). Well eventually we did some things that I want get into detail (you can only imagine and you still wont be close) at the bar, so then we leave. Im telling her, I prolly should get home, because it is not an easy task to get to SI this late. She shuts me up and says you coming wit me. So ok the next thing we do, we go to a tobacco bar, which was chill. Somehow we end up at her place, the two of us spend the nite together... (I dont usually do this, actually never, but she seemed so chill, correction she was great).
I get home the next day at 4:30, I have to say it was one of the best nites of my life. And to this day, it still is. It wasnt great in a sexual way, or anything like that (actually nothing like that happened- which wat made it better), it was amazing to connect wit someone only over one nite. To make it clearer, an example would be Vianlla Sky, Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz characters, how they hit it off so well only through that one nite. Well for that month, I spoke to her and saw her a few times, a good friendship/relationship was growing (we werent going out or anything- jus getting aquainted moreso), but then I had to go back to school. I come back to school for a vacation and another face of JILL's surfaces, I find out she actually resents me. Why, you may ask, well part of the reason beacsue I was younger, but the main reason, because I looked even younger. She took a lot of riducle from her family and friends for being with me, actually it led to here not seeing me anymore, at all. Instead of even telling why, she just stopped talking to me.
Im not sure what to think about the two of us, but I believe that we had a chance to make something good together... but it didnt happen. But what I most certainly know from that experience, was that I should be confident about my looks and myself. This HOT OLDER WOMAN sought after me and thought I was chill, someone with a lot more experience than me. I went back to college with a smile, I thought I was the shit, correction I KNEW I WAS THE SHIT. But over the past year some of that confidence was disappeared, portions are still there, but you shouldnt stay on a high horse you should come back to reality, that was only one instance. The worst is that, too much of that confidence has dwindled, that realm of the world is now hard for me. I dont know why, but it is, hard to get back on the wagon.
I reminded of this experience because of last nite, because I do think she was a special one that got away. Its too bad she took the opinions of others around her to hurt our progress, but it happens. Actually b/c of this experience Ive been very weary of women older than me, which sucks is b/c Im attracted to older women...
Not that I take these tests seriously, but this test could explain a lot. Im really shocked by the results actually...
The Last Man on Earth
Random Brutal Sex Dreamer (RBSDm)
Pretty much the results said, even if you were the LAST MAN ON EARTH, no girl would take you... HAHAHA- thas hilarious... heres the link to my results for more info:
Comments (16)
...VIVEK! you can't be believing that crap! How old are we?! lol. And yo, upz and downz and merry go rounds. lol. I think I'm on a chocolate High. But yea you're freaken amazing, ur such a selfless friend, your respectful, intelligent, {ahem: good looking}, etc...knock it off! You should know all this, and when you realize it, it'll ooze confidence from you, which all grls like. SO yea... get ur mind right, money right, ready for war. What? I dunno. Be solid in your own skin, then you can handle someone else comin in and dealin with u.
it's a leap year day, nothing is normal. in fact, today didn't really exist.
let me clarify. it existed ,but only in the leap-year realm of existence.
I just go to a community school. it's called Duck Lake Center. =)
uuuuuhhhhhh
Happy leap year!
So Jill had her own place?...Damn, should've been older.
It wasn't you, it was her. Don't doubt yourself cuz someone else couldn't handle it.
wow...that was amazing cause
1. i read the whole thing
2. cause wow, u spent the night, with a HOT, older woman...mmhmmm...
it's ok the SG looks(and acts)like he's 12. so it's all good. i feel bad for the Jill...tho.
lolz hell yea man cant wait tO tatse a chick =D yuMmMy =X
haha sucks for 'Jill' cuz now ur mine mine mine!
wow she sounds really insecure and totally not confident. u should go out w/ someone for u, not for ur friends. plus if ur friends dont accept it then they're prob not ur friends, although i could understand family controversy. eh w/e. and no i didn't see the first dirty dancing, i should though.
interesting... it must really suck to not have had the chance to see if things could have worked out.. but maybe it was for the best and it was just one of those experiences we all need go through so we can experience them.. ahh do u get what im saying? like the memory of it just makes it worthwhile
intresting story, hmm but negative surroundings make a negative person (duh) but hey ya know at lest u got to expierence such a thing. teke cere..!
So this is the cragee long entry. Maybe Jill might have been a special one, but if she let others' opinions get to her, it's seems obvious that you two may not have made it. There will be others as long as you keep looking. Don't let the world get you down. No matter how hard it gets, there'll always be something there to make it better. Gain confidence. Take care.
jill has issues....next thing u know, shes gonna show up at your place with a butcher knife..
ya don't know me. nor do i know you, but, i've had a similar experience to yours, although it lasted alot longer. after he broke it off with me my self esteem level plummeted and i felt almost worthless.
it really isn't age, but maturity that should be judged when choosing a suitable partner, and if the woman casted you aside because of taunting from other ppl than i'm glad she left you when she did. says alot about her character.
hope ya don't mind, but i subscribed to u ;]
Comments are closed.